Defiant Palin breaks peace with Koreans.

...Breaking...

In a move that has sent the State Department scrambling, P.T.A. brownie monitor Sarah Palin shocked dignitaries from South Korea today when she unveiled her plan to strengthen social and economic ties between the United States and one of it's most stalwart allies in the region.

A stunned silence greeted Palin as she debuted her marketing plan for a new culinary item labeled "Puppy Muffins". Several Korean diplomats had to be forcibly restrained when the oblivious former Mayor pulled the corners of her eyes back and exclaimed,

"Doggie A numbah one ! Yum! Yum!"

The ensuing melee prevented any reporters from asking Palin about her motives for offending the Koreans, but a statement released by the Campaign quoted her as saying

"Todd doesn't like them."

GOP leaders are rumored to be conferring about Palin behind closed doors. Nothing definitive has been decided on as a result of these meetings, which took place while the erstwhile governor continued to languish on suicide watch at home.

As a result of the encounter, Korean officials have called it's Ambassador home and plan on imprisoning any American G.I.'s found off base.

***UPDATE***

PUPPY MUFFINS 80% KITTEN!!!!!

Palin, drunk on snake whiskey, sells boy to pirates....for more snake whiskey.

....Breaking.....

Controversy continues to surround the former crossing guard from America's smallest town. In a scene reminiscent of a Charles Dickens novel, Sarah Palin allegedly attempted to sell a small boy to local pirates for "snake whiskey" at the waterfront today. While Palin has long been rumored to have engaged in numerous liaisons with local teens, the age of the new boy shocked even die hard fanatics of Palin.

"I heard her tell that little boy to shut up and get on that boat.."

Local stump farmer Melvin Duphus shook his head in puzzlement as he recalled the bizarre scene.

"At first I just figured she was all liquored up on corn drippings, but once I got a whiff of that snake whiskey, I knew something wasn't right."

Campaign staffers quickly interceded and the unnamed boy was reunited with his parents, both volunteers for the Obama campaign.

Palin did little to dispel the cloud of doubt that surrounds her long shot bid for the "vultures seat", as the Vice Presidential office is sometimes described. When asked about the incident, Palin allegedly described the boy as "hot" and worth at least two or three bottles of "Jesus Juice". Most objective observers interpreted this remark as despicably racist and a deliberate slur against presidential shoe-in Barrack Obama.

Barrack Obama could not be immediately reached for comment, but several "A" list celebrities close to Obama made it clear that the teetotaling senator was saddened, and that he prays for Palin at least five times a day.

No charges have been filed yet as a result of the incident, however many local residents attribute that to a decimated and demoralized police force, a result of Palins still unresolved "Trooper Gate" scandal. The sentiment around town was echoed time and again by numerous anonymous sources.

"Ain't no Trooper gonna' mess with the Barracuda, not unless they want to sleep with the fishes."

THIS JUST IN...Palin...Sexy White Trash Absentee Parent?

Breaking!!!! Palin calls wounded soldier "Pussy."

The controversial mayor of Wasilla Alaska, made an unexpected and unlikely appearance at an undisclosed military hospital today, fueling rumors that the embattled Vice Presidential hopeful is currently undergoing a costly series of taxpayer funded cosmetic surgeries. The haggard and apparently tipsy former T.V. sportscaster took a wrong turn down a Hospital corridor and ended up in the cramped room of a bewildered and frightened soldier scheduled for quadruple amputation, a possible result of the failed surge in Iraq.

When asked by the unnamed soldier if he would be forced to have his life saving surgery delayed due to Palin's sudden and jarring arrival, the strident Hockey Mom allegedly replied,

"I'm sorry, it just doesn't look like it hurts that bad."

Campaign staffers rushed to cover for the candidate mother of a down syndromes baby by claiming that the ex beauty pageant winner meant to say that the soldiers pain should be lessened by the knowledge that four more years of Bush tax cuts for the rich and Carl Rove style politics would be assured with a Palin/McCain victory in November.

The Obama campaign could not be reached for comment as most phone lines to the Senators Command Center were flooded with new donations to the wildly popular Obama Presidential bid. Obama the front runner look relaxed and fit when seen yesterday ducking into an exclusive West Hollywood bistro with George Clooney.

Most Obama observers are praising the Senator and former Harvard Law Professor for staying above the fray and like to point out that Senator Obamas plan for a phased troop withdrawal would have saved many soldiers lives had the Bush administration implemented it sooner. One anonymous Obama staffer did note that most of the nations donated blood supply is sent to American military bases and hinted that there may be a more sinister reason for Palin's visit to the hospital.

Karl Rove could not be reached for comment.